Oh the Internet is slow The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it\'s so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn\'t show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down low, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. When we finally connect to a site, It\'s time to go back to the dorm; But if I could stay here all night, I could submit their Web form. The network is slowly dying, And, I fear, we\'re still denying, But as long as Sprint is the way to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

INTERNET CAFE JOKES Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell \"I can\'t hear you!!! You\'re going to have to speak louder!\" Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, \"These new games are incredible!\" Practice \'spinning mouse mat on index finger\' globe trotter routine. Put your monitor\'s contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell \"It\'s going to implode!\" Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD\'s. Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, \"STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!\"

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